- Starting with the WIIFM (what’s in it for men)
- Sharing their story with men
- Speaking up WITH him
- Practicing self-care
As we shared in our last post, we are thrilled that our new book, ONE: How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality, will be available early October! Our next three blogs will feature sneak peaks of the new book, with exclusive content from our research and interviews with successful women and male allies. For the next wave of gender equality, it is critical that men are involved in the movement.
This post will unpack the four key areas where male allies partner with women for gender equality are by:
- Channeling the women they empathize
- Asking for her HERstory
- Speaking up with her
- Doing the fair share
Channel the Women You Empathize
Think About What You Want for Your Daughter, Mother, or Spouse. Male allies shared incredible insights into the strong women in their lives that they cared about, and acted as a source of inspiration to transfer that care and compassion to other women. These men often were selfless in their gives of mentorship, sponsorship, or in how they managed women. They saw them as humans just like them, and did what anyone would do. They downplay their extraordinary efforts as ordinary, yet as I shared this with women, they responded that they wished there were more men like this. Male allies, although all around us, are more of a rare breed than they realize. Our belief is that these men see themselves as “normal” because they have channeled the strong women in their lives subconsciously, seeing the women they work with as extensions of their “normal” reality.
We are so excited to announce that our new book, ONE: How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality, will be available early October! Our next four posts will feature sneak peaks of the new book, with exclusive content from our research and interviews with successful women and male allies.
In working with successful men and women leaders throughout my career, and in my research, there is a clear and integral role for women helping one another, as well as the importance of men supporting women. We rarely recognize the “male allies” behind successful women, and this book is intended to help men and women understand the importance of “male allies,” and also to provide strategies, tools, and ideas for women and men to partner together for gender equality.
From our research, we believe that feminism failed to produce results because it was negatively perceived as “man haters” and left out 50% of the population in its cause. Now is the time to showcase examples of what good looks like, and the man’s role in creating positive change. As many of the male allies we interviewed said, it’s the small things that make a big difference. From everyday men in business, to men in academia, to executive women leaders, to bestselling authors, to Ted Talk speakers, we interviewed dozens of extraordinary men that have done ordinary, and extraordinary things to support women.
This is not a tug of war; it’s not a zero sum game. We all stand to benefit when we welcome men into the conversation about gender equality. We’re not going to solve this problem as women alone. We need the support of male allies to win together. And, as we found in our research, there are benefits for both women and men. It’s a win-win.
There are four key areas that we believe holistically represent what male allies do to support women and what women do to engage male allies. It truly is a collaboration across genders.
- Heart: How Men Channel the Women They Empathize, and How Women Start the Dialogue with the WIIFM
- Story: How Men Ask for HERStory, and How Women Share Their Story
- Speaking: How Men Speak up with Her, and How Women Speak Up with Him
- Work-Life: How Men Do the Fair Share, and How Women Practice Self-Care
We’ve been writing and sharing data that continuously supports that when organizations have more women in senior leadership positions and on corporate boards, performance increases. Yet, as organizations are initiating women’s groups, diversity officers, and inclusion initiatives, the numbers of women at the top continue to stagnate. In my research for our new book, ONE: How Men Partner with Women for Gender Equality, I found that strong women leaders often have access to sponsors and mentors, and many of them are men. These women leaders believe strongly in the purpose of their work, and the positive impact it has. We also found another pillar focused on coaching. Managers of strong women leaders coach them, provide real-time feedback and help her be her best possible self. They do not solve her problem for her, they help her self-discover her own plan forward.
To increase gender equality at the highest levels of organizations, we must engage women in other ways. In this post, you will learn proven strategies from our research that outlines these three pillars. To retain top female talent, leaders focus on:
- Improving access to sponsors and mentors
- Aligning their value and purpose with their work
- Coaching women to success
At our pivot points, women I coach often are asking, “what’s next?” I call this a pivotal journey. While the answers are often inside ourselves, we may not have the confidence, risk appetite, or belief that we even know what we want. In our last blog post, we shared the story of Ashli and her pivotal journey asking for what she wanted. This post features Carrie, and this story brings tears to my eyes every time I share it. It is another great example that illustrate that we do know what we want when we prioritize the time to reflect and give ourselves space to self-discover. Also, it is our choice to believe in ourselves and fuel our confidence to take the risk and make the change.
Similar to Ashli’s story from last time, Carrie was also at a cross roads personally and professionally. She took time to reflect on her true passions and purpose and renewed a love of running marathons. Once she knew what she wanted, she prioritized her passion. Here’s Carrie’s story…
At our pivot points, women I coach often are asking, “what’s next?” I call this a pivotal journey. While the answers are often inside ourselves, we may not have the confidence, risk appetite, or belief that we even know what we want. In our next two blog posts, I wanted to share everyday stories of women doing remarkable things. When these women shared these stories, it brought tears to my eyes. They are great examples that illustrate that we do know what we want when we prioritize the time to reflect and give ourselves space to self-discover. Also, it is our choice to believe in ourselves and fuel our confidence to take the risk and make the change.
In this story, Ashli took a risk and asked for what she wanted. Through our discussions, she took time to reflect on key questions:
- What are the tasks/goals that get you most excited? (will)
- What are the tasks/goals that you are doing on your very best days? (will)
- What are the tasks/goals that people continuously praise you for? (skill)
- What are the tasks/goals that you seem to be most effective at? (skill)
- Who are the people that are most important to you in your life? (skill/will)
Once she knew what she wanted, she was more confident in asking for it. Here’s Ashli’s story…
As my two-year anniversary of starting my own business passed, I took some time to reflect on what I learned. Having done the b-school thing, and the corporate gigs in a variety of industries and functional areas, the last two years have far surpassed any learning in the classroom or on the job.Being your own boss is hard. Giving yourself a day off, or a weekend for that matter, is a challenge. Dealing with the major swings in demand and revenue can be frustrating. Yet, I would not trade this experience for the world. It’s taught my daughters that women can do it anything they truly set their minds too, it’s made my relationship with my husband stronger (we now work together), share my passion with my family (my niece also supports the business), and it has helped me fuel my real calling for women’s leadership.
I get to go to work now, I no longer have to go.
I meet countless people that think that they want to start their own businesses, and they often believe it is not possible. If you are one of those people with a great idea, but lacking the courage to make it happen, then this blog is for you. The frequently asked questions here are a culmination of what I am asked most often in one-on-one discussions with clients and aspiring entrepreneurs.
At Pivot Point, we believe that wellness is defined as our ability to make conscious choices toward a healthy and fulfilling life. Based on our research with every day women leaders and women in business, we have summarized our findings for women looking for ideas for their own personal wellness plans.
After copious research, and dozens of workshops with women leaders focused on their personal wellness, we believe that there are three key areas to improving your personal wellness plan, and it all starts with your purpose. First, start with:
1) Knowing your why (and saying no to things not aligned with your why)
2) Then, giving to others through compassion (giving to give)
3) Followed by, prioritizing sleep (yes, sleep)
Let’s start with your WHY by asking yourself these questions…
- What are the tasks/goals that get you most excited?
- What are the tasks/goals that you are doing on your very best days?
- What are the tasks/goals that people continuously praise you for?
- What are the tasks/goals that you seem to be most effective at?
- Who are the people that are most important to you in your life?
You may be asking, what does this have to do with wellness? I have found in my work with women, that our choices must be aligned with our personal wellness. We cannot be happy if we are busy trying to make everyone else happy around us.
Often I am asked, “How do I know what I want to do next?”
To which I respond, “Only you truly know.”
I know, it sounds like a cop out. Yet, I really believe that we have the answers inside ourselves far more often than we think we do. As a coach, speaker, and student of women’s leadership, I feel very compassionate about helping women find their calling. And, often their current gig is not getting it done. We tend to accept the dull reality of our current job or workplace, and not question why we dread going to work.
Since writing Pivot Point, we have researched additional resources and tools with amazing women leaders. While the key principles still apply – being authentic, expressing confidence, building a winning career game plan, connecting with purpose, asking for it, and leading with influence – we now offer three simple steps to get to “what’s next” more quickly. We call this our Pivot Point Career Calculator based on these essential steps:
- Know your skills and wills (the things you are good at and the things you love)
- Find the intersection of the skills and wills to craft your ideal job description
- Map your resume to your ideal job description
We’re near the end of 2016, and you know what that means, time for our new year’s resolutions. Realizing I am a couple of weeks early to the party, it is unlikely that you have yours yet. And, I encourage you NOT to make them this year. Yes, you heard me. Hold off. Rather than resolutions this year, set goals instead.
Here’s why. Resolutions rarely stick. They are aspiration, and rarely rooted in reality. Often, this leads us to lack commitment and follow through on them. In fact, according to Forbes, only 8% of people accomplish their new year’s resolutions. By contrast, setting SMART goals, has a much higher chance of success. According to my research for Pivot Point, I found that having goals and a plan contributes to an 80% higher success rate.
So, how do you know what your goals are?
Over the holidays, I recommend you noodle on your goals, asking yourself:
- What is that I am so excited about, that when I am doing it, I forget to go to the bathroom?
- What is ONE thing I could do to make a positive impact in my life?
- What is something that my friends, peers, family always say I should do, but I choose not to?
So, how might we turn these wants into goals?