was successfully added to your cart.
gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Work-Life Management: Practice Self-Care

By | Communication, Delegation, Diversity, Emotional Intelligence, Gender Equality, Leadership, Positive Thinking, Self-Care | No Comments

Work-life balance is impossible.  While women leaders and male allies want to achieve perfect balance between work and life, our research has found that this is not a realistic expectation for working families.  The two spheres live in conflict, where work may dominate one week, and life (family, caretaking, and self-care) may dominate the next.  It’s more like a teeter totter than a perfect balance beam.

In our work with women’s leadership groups, our survey data revealed the top challenge for the overwhelming majority of members is balancing work and life.  Digging into the facts, it is understandable that this challenge largely falls on women.

  • Women still spend more time on household labor averaging 2 hours and 15 minutes per day, while men average 1 hour and 25 minutes per day (a ratio of 62/38 women to men).
  • From 1997-2015, the number of businesses increased by 51%. Of that increase, 74% of the companies are women owned.
  • 24 million females in the U.S. care for others 25+ hours/week. In fact, they leave the workforce on average 12 years to care for children and relatives.

This illuminates the need for work-life integration for women leaders and families with dual careers.  When women feel trapped in jobs without flexibility, they self-select out of rigid corporate America.  If your organization is not engaging these women leaders, they are likely losing them.  These are smart, talented people who could bring tremendous value to our economy and to organizations, yet we accept – and even encourage – opting-out of their careers.  We make assumptions about the preference to be at home or need to be with the children, whereas the same assumptions are not often applied to working men.

With the challenge of managing work and life, women leaders tend to put themselves last.  This is why we have a section in our new book ONE:  How Men and Women Partner for Gender Equality (get your copy here) dedicated to practicing self-care.

Saying “Yes” to yourself is hard.  Rather than saying “Yes” to everyone else, choose to say “Yes” to the right things.  Remind yourself that you are saying “No” to a lot of things when you say “Yes” to the wrong things.  For women looking to practice self-care, we share these strategies from ONE:

  • Outsource activities you do not have the skill or will to do. For example, we hired a housekeeper to clean our house once a month, and have enjoyed the ROI of having more time with my family, and more energy and time to do the really important things professionally and personally.
  • Say no to FOMO (fear of missing out). Prioritize what is important for you to be happy, overcoming the fear of missing out on the wrong things.  Social media is a big influence here. Before you say “Yes,” remember it means “No” for something else that may be important.  Do say “No” if something does not drive your happiness.
  • Get more sleep. Adults need seven to nine hours of sleep per night.  Unless you have a genetic mutation, this means you.  Very few women we coach get the required seven hours of sleep per night, which is dangerous for their health.
  • Implement the 80/20 rule. Make sure 80% of your energy is aligned with your “why”.  Twenty percent is for the other stuff (routine tasks, things only you can do, etc.).
  • Show compassion for others. Find everyday-ways to genuinely, meaningfully help others.  Giving fuels our energy.
  • Practice gratitude. Journal what you are grateful for each day.  Intentionally choose to focus on what is good in your life.
  • Have a plan. If you do not know what you want and where you’re going, you will fall victim to others deciding for you.

Remember that women leaders that practice self-care, manage their work and life more successfully.  They have more energy to give to others, and are more likely to achieve career success and be happy personally as well.

We believe strongly in our message to spread male allyship and develop women leaders.  If you do too, share our mantra below or post your stories and thoughts with these hashtags:  #genderequality #ONE #heforshe #maleallies #femaleadvocacy.

Our Mantra

I believe in gender equality.  I believe women and men, partnering together for gender equality, is what is best for all humans.  By collaborating together, we will improve the lives of future women leaders and girls who will grow up in a world where anything is possible.  My voice matters.  I make choices every day supporting gender equality.  We are all in this together.  I commit to supporting male allyship.  We are stronger together.  We are ONE.

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Negotiation: Ask for What You Want

By | Communication, Confidence, Conflict Resolution, Diversity, Gender Equality, Leadership, Positive Thinking | No Comments

Research shows that men are four times more likely to negotiate than a woman.  Women leaders do not speak up and ask for what they want, especially if it feels selfish.  Yet, women are more successful negotiators than men when negotiating on someone else’s behalf.  We have the skill, just lack the will.  This is why we have a section in our new book ONE:  How Men and Women Partner for Gender Equality (get your copy here) dedicated to speaking up.

For women looking to strengthen your negotiation skills, practice:

  • Channeling your purpose and passion
  • Opening the discussion from a place of positive intent and common ground
  • Aligning your ask with your audience’s wants to find win-win solutions

Channeling your purpose and passion

Humans are wired emotionally.  We are far more likely to take action based on a strong purpose or “why” than the tactical “what” or “how.”  Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why, articulates this beautifully with proven research.  That means that when we decide to negotiate, knowing why we want what we want is pivotal.  And, when we share our ask with conviction, passion, and confidence, our audience is more likely to respond positively.

Preparation pays off.  Thinking about what you want, why you want it, and how it will work is key.  We encourage women leaders to document their negotiation plan.  Outline the what, why, and how, focusing on your unique purpose and passions.

Choose your battles.  Ask for what you want that align most with your purpose and passion areas.  We may get finite chances to ask for it, so it is important to be strategic and focus on what you truly want vs. nice to haves.  Reflect on this question, what is one thing that will have the greatest impact on me (personally, professionally, etc.)?  That’s your winner.

Opening the discussion from a place of positive intent and common ground

Establishing common ground early in a discussion is important.  With our plan in hand outlining our what, why, and how, we’re armed and ready to initiate a dialogue.  Once we have stated our ask, pause and take a breath, and ask our audience, “what do you think?”  Such a simple, yet powerful question.  When we ask the question early, we involve the audience in the discussion and facilitate a brainstorm collaboration vs. the oppositional “what I want” vs. “what you want” unproductive conversation ping-pong.  This establishes common ground based on both parties’ interests.

Positive intent is a game changer.  Assume your audience has positive intentions, just as you do.  Most people are good people.  That means they want to help us.  By putting yourself out there with your ask, you have demonstrated vulnerability, and most people respond by mirroring that vulnerability.  If you are communicating with the decision maker, assume that they are aligned.  They just need to understand the what, why, and how of your ask to get there.

Aligning your ask with your audience’s wants to find win-win solutions

Remember that you have likely been thinking about your ask much longer than the party you are speaking with.  This may be the first time they have thought about it.  To facilitate their thinking, ask lots of open-ended questions.  Powerful questions start with “what” and “how,” or my personal favorite “tell me more.”  Good negotiators listen more than they speak.  They take copious notes and have already anticipated what their audience may want too, or what their questions will be.

In your preparation plan, make sure to brainstorm areas of alignment.  Where are the places you both win.  Offering up something that helps your audience early encourages them to engage and support you.  Emphasizing commonality vs. differences bridges the gap in perceptions.  Be sure to give your audience space and time to think too.  Once you have articulated the what, why, and how, and asked at least three questions, it’s okay to back off.  Do be sure to schedule a follow up time to talk, or ask for the expectation of decision making time frame.  There is nothing worse than having the tough talk, and then nothing happening.  It’s your job to follow up.

My women’s leadership crush

I had the thrill of meeting one of women’s leadership crushes last month at a conference.  I actually spoke after her, which was surreal.

Linda Babcock, author of Ask for It, taught us a simple four step process to practice to be better negotiators.  It reinforces this approach.  Above all, practicing the negotiation conversation is critical for success.  When we practice, we have a vision of success during the real discussion.  We’re far more likely to be confident when prepared.

Her steps include these phases:

  1. Identify what you want
  2. Make a plan
  3. Get ready strategically
  4. Get ready psychologically

We believe strongly in our message to spread male allyship and develop women leaders.  If you do too, share our mantra below or post your stories and thoughts with these hashtags:  #genderequality #ONE #heforshe #maleallies #femaleadvocacy.

Our Mantra

I believe in gender equality.  I believe women and men, partnering together for gender equality, is what is best for all humans.  By collaborating together, we will improve the lives of future women leaders and girls who will grow up in a world where anything is possible.  My voice matters.  I make choices every day supporting gender equality.  We are all in this together.  I commit to supporting male allyship.  We are stronger together.  We are ONE.

 

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Five Questions to Ask to Get the Gender Equality Conversation Started in Your Organization

By | Communication, Diversity, Employee Engagement, Gender Equality, Leadership, Talent Retention | No Comments

Organizations that believe and achieve gender equality outperform those that do not.  Yet, this is often a delicate conversation to begin within organizations.  Even for those that deeply believe in it.  Leaders just do not know how best to achieve it.  Men want to be male allies, yet sometimes do not know how or what to do.  The fear of saying the wrong thing, or being labelled a feminist still holds men back.  And, women leaders do not speak up and ask for what they want, especially if it feels selfish.

That’s why we wrote ONE:  How Men and Women Partner for Gender Equality (get your copy here).  Think of it as a guide packed with strategies, ideas, and stories for male allies and women leaders to partner together.

We are lucky that our readers have given us feedback already.  They really want a discussion guide to get the dialogue started in a healthy, productive way.

You asked, we listened…

Five Questions to Ask to Get the Gender Equality Conversation Started in Your Organization

  1. What would our organization look like if our gender equality goals were met…
  2. What are we missing out on by not maximizing the talents of both genders…
  3. What do we see that tells us we have room to improve our gender equality…
  4. What are examples of times we have gotten gender equality right…
  5. What is one thing I can do to make a positive impact on gender equality at our organization…

So let’s start with #1:  What would our organization look like if our gender equality goals were met… Read More

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

ONE Call to Action

By | Communication, Diversity, Gender Equality, Leadership | No Comments

The day has finally arrived.  ONE:  How Men and Women Partner for Gender Equality, is available!  And, you can be the first to get your copy here.

We’ve touched on the key strategies throughout this series – Heart, Story, Speak, and Work-Life – for male allies to engage with women leaders to support gender equality.  There are great male allies out there that have shown us what good looks like, and we need to multiply our male allies.  Those featured in ONE – and those you know – are not enough.  We need more.

Positive peer pressure works.  Spread the word to other potential male allies on the fringe, who want to help support women (but may not know how).  For organizations looking to encourage male allyship, focus on what you will do to create positive change.  If you do not have a male ally group, form one.  If your organization has a women’s professional development group, invite men to participate.  Men and women, get curious to learn from one another.

Organizations embracing male allies outperform those that do not.  You are leaving money on the table if you are not facilitating male allyship.  Becoming an ally is a journey.  From our research, we found organizations with gender equality offer these best practices:

  • A culture setting gender equality, inclusion, and diversity as a nonnegotiable belief, and acts as a basis for “fit” with the organization
  • Goals to improve gender equality as a part of their strategic plan, with full transparency of statistics by gender for leadership roles and pay
  • Women’s professional development groups that include male allies (and have a budget)
  • Accountability for behaviors to support gender equality: heart, story, speak, and work-life

Call to Action

Our goal in writing ONE was to create a call to action for more male allies to engage with women for gender equality, and for more women to engage with male allies for support (personally and professionally).  Men, if you believe in equal rights, it is time to step up.  Channel the women you empathize, learn HERstories, speak up with them, and do the fair share.  Be their mentor, sponsor, advocate, coach, advisor… whatever role that benefits them and is aligned with your strengths.  Women, start the dialogue, share your story, speak up with men, and practice self-care.  We’ll leave you with this Male Ally Challenge: share our mantra below on social media using hashtags #maleallies, #genderequality, #femaleadvocacy, #ONE, and #heforshe.

Our Mantra

I believe in gender equality.  I believe women and men, partnering together for gender equality, is what is best for all humans.  By collaborating together, we will improve the lives of future women leaders and girls who will grow up in a world where anything is possible.  My voice matters.  I make choices every day supporting gender equality.  We are all in this together.  I commit to supporting male allyship.  We are stronger together.  We are ONE.

To spread the word on the importance of male allies, post your stories and thoughts with these hashtags:  #genderequality #ONE #heforshe #maleallies #femaleadvocacy.

Order your copy here and we will include a commemorative bookmark with our mantra for a limited time.

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Sneak Peak…PART TWO: How Women Partner with Male Allies for Gender Equality

By | Career Game Plan, Coaching, Diversity, Gender Equality, Leadership, Talent Retention | No Comments
Only one more week until our new book, ONE:  How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality, is available!  And, yes you can pre-order on our website here.
This blog features a sneak peak of the women’s strategies part of the book, with exclusive content from our research and interviews with successful women and male allies.  For the next wave of gender equality, it is critical that women engage men.
The four key areas where women partner with male allies partner for gender equality are by:
  • Starting with the WIIFM (what’s in it for men)
  • Sharing their story with men
  • Speaking up WITH him
  • Practicing self-care
Start the Dialogue with the WIIFM
WIIFM:  What’s In It For Men.  Catalyst, the Pew Research Center, and many other credible sources spell out the clear competitive advantage gender diverse leadership teams have – business performance.  When there is gender equality in organizations, teams thrive and profits are on average 16% higher.  While men care about women, we all can get behind actual proven statistics to support a partnership across men and women to make this happen.  When women start with the why for the organization and for the male ally, men listen.

Read More

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Sneak Peak…PART ONE: How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality

By | Career Game Plan, Coaching, Diversity, Gender Equality, Leadership, Talent Retention | No Comments

As we shared in our last post, we are thrilled that our new book, ONE:  How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality, will be available early October!  Our next three blogs will feature sneak peaks of the new book, with exclusive content from our research and interviews with successful women and male allies.  For the next wave of gender equality, it is critical that men are involved in the movement.

This post will unpack the four key areas where male allies partner with women for gender equality are by:

  • Channeling the women they empathize
  • Asking for her HERstory
  • Speaking up with her
  • Doing the fair share

Channel the Women You Empathize

Think About What You Want for Your Daughter, Mother, or Spouse.  Male allies shared incredible insights into the strong women in their lives that they cared about, and acted as a source of inspiration to transfer that care and compassion to other women.  These men often were selfless in their gives of mentorship, sponsorship, or in how they managed women.  They saw them as humans just like them, and did what anyone would do.  They downplay their extraordinary efforts as ordinary, yet as I shared this with women, they responded that they wished there were more men like this.  Male allies, although all around us, are more of a rare breed than they realize.  Our belief is that these men see themselves as “normal” because they have channeled the strong women in their lives subconsciously, seeing the women they work with as extensions of their “normal” reality.

Read More

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Sneak Peak…ONE: How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality

By | Career Game Plan, Coaching, Diversity, Gender Equality, Leadership, Talent Retention | No Comments

We are so excited to announce that our new book, ONE:  How Male Allies Partner with Women for Gender Equality, will be available early October!  Our next four posts will feature sneak peaks of the new book, with exclusive content from our research and interviews with successful women and male allies.

In working with successful men and women leaders throughout my career, and in my research, there is a clear and integral role for women helping one another, as well as the importance of men supporting women.  We rarely recognize the “male allies” behind successful women, and this book is intended to help men and women understand the importance of “male allies,” and also to provide strategies, tools, and ideas for women and men to partner together for gender equality.

From our research, we believe that feminism failed to produce results because it was negatively perceived as “man haters” and left out 50% of the population in its cause.  Now is the time to showcase examples of what good looks like, and the man’s role in creating positive change.  As many of the male allies we interviewed said, it’s the small things that make a big difference.  From everyday men in business, to men in academia, to executive women leaders, to bestselling authors, to Ted Talk speakers, we interviewed dozens of extraordinary men that have done ordinary, and extraordinary things to support women.

This is not a tug of war; it’s not a zero sum game.  We all stand to benefit when we welcome men into the conversation about gender equality.  We’re not going to solve this problem as women alone.  We need the support of male allies to win together.  And, as we found in our research, there are benefits for both women and men.  It’s a win-win.

There are four key areas that we believe holistically represent what male allies do to support women and what women do to engage male allies.  It truly is a collaboration across genders.

  • Heart: How Men Channel the Women They Empathize, and How Women Start the Dialogue with the WIIFM
  • Story: How Men Ask for HERStory, and How Women Share Their Story
  • Speaking: How Men Speak up with Her, and How Women Speak Up with Him
  • Work-Life: How Men Do the Fair Share, and How Women Practice Self-Care

Read More

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Leading Across Generations

By | Coaching, Communication, Diversity, Employee Engagement, Leadership, Pivot Point, Team Building, Training | No Comments

Research indicates that Millennials will be 75% of our workforce by 2025, and with this, organizations are struggling to engage top talent across generations.  Often, with leaders I coach, they ask, “how can we change the millennials to be more motivated, and less entitled?” to which I respond, “they are far less likely to change for us; they are far more likely to change us.”  There are so many wonderful traits this next generation brings to the workforce:  a genuine passion for making a positive impact on the world, a desire to work to live rather than live to work, and an uncanny ability to find solutions to complex problems.  Yet, there are some distinct behaviors and expectations that do not always align with organizational values and processes.

The Pew Research Center outlines generations by birth year range as follows:

  • Millennials: 1981-1997
  • Generation X: 1965 to 1980
  • Baby Boomers: 1946 to 1964

Much attention has been placed on Baby Boomer and Millennial alignment, as they represent two ends of the spectrum, and have the most differences between them.  However, Generation X is the next generation of leaders, and represents the majority of small business owners.  They are a force to be reckoned with as well, yet often blend in with the Baby Boomers or identify with the Millennials as the pendulum swings.  Humorously, at a conference I was at recently, the speaker talked about Generation X being overwhelmed by the Baby Boomers.  Due to their sheer size, Baby Boomers made Generation X into mini Baby Boomers.  Partially true, Generation X seems to be amicable and the most flexible to each of the other larger generations.

In order to effectively lead an organization today, leaders must inspire and engage across all generations.  In this post, you will learn:

  • Understanding how “coming of age” experiences shape generations
  • Learning how to “flex” your leadership style to meet the needs of each generation
  • Aligning cultural values consistent with generational expectations

Read More

gender equality in the workplace, training leaders, male allies, leadership training

Appreciate Others that are NOT Like You

By | Coaching, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Diversity | No Comments

So, I had this epiphany when I was a young adult.  I was in college and it was freshman year, and it was my first time living away from home.  My roommate, also one of my best friends from high school, and I were getting into our first argument.  She informed me that, to my shock, “not everyone was like me.”  I thank Amy for this assertive statement, and recall that memory fondly as a great moment of self-awareness.

My roommate, Amy, and I had completely different personalities.  While we had so much in common in our passions and interests, we could not have been further apart on our communication styles.  As a results-oriented, direct communicator, I could not believe Amy would need time process her thoughts before sharing, and often thought of the impact on others before thinking of herself.  She’s the steady one; I am the bold one.  Still to this day, our differences are felt, and I am thankful to have someone to balance me out that knows me so well, and accepts me for who I am, even if our priorities are completely different.

Read More

Diversity is a candid conversation.

Start the Dialogue.

  • Get our guide, The 5 Questions to Start the Gender Equality Conversation.