If you’re anything like me, your instinct when someone comes to you with a problem is often to jump straight to solutions. “Here’s what you should do,” “My advice is…”, “When I had that problem, I did this…” We mean well, right? We want to be helpful, to show our experience, and to guide. But here’s the thing: constantly telling people what to do, especially those you’re trying to empower, can inadvertently disempower them. It can foster dependence, stifle initiative, and frankly, it often misses the mark because your solution isn’t always their solution.
As allies, our goal isn’t to be the all-knowing guru; it’s to create an environment where everyone can discover their own answers, build their own confidence, and navigate their own career paths. This is especially true for individuals from underrepresented groups who may already be seeking external validation or feeling less confident in their ideas. Our role is to amplify their voices, not replace them with our own.
That’s where the GROW Model comes in. It’s a simple, yet incredibly powerful coaching framework that helps individuals unlock their own potential and find their own solutions. It stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Will. Let’s break it down.
G is for Goal: What Do You Want to Achieve?
This is where you help the coachee define what they want to achieve, both in the current conversation and in the bigger picture. It’s about getting clarity on their desired outcome. Often, people come to us with a problem, but they haven’t articulated what success looks like. As a coach, your job here is to help them SMART-en up their goal: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
- Instead of: “I want to be happier at work.”
- Try questions like: “What specifically would ‘happier’ look like for you in your day-to-day?” or “By when would you like to achieve this?” or “What’s the ideal outcome from our conversation today about this challenge?”
This step ensures you’re both working towards a clear target and not just spinning wheels on a vague complaint.
R is for Reality: What’s Happening Now?
Once the goal is clear, it’s time to explore the current situation. This is about understanding the “as is” state, without judgment or jumping to solutions. What are the facts? What are the challenges? What resources are already in play? This phase encourages self-reflection and helps the coachee gain a comprehensive understanding of their current landscape.
- Instead of: “You just need to talk to your manager.”
- Try questions like: “What have you tried so far?” or “Who else is involved in this situation?” or “What are the biggest obstacles you’re facing?” or “How is this situation impacting you?”
This phase can be eye-opening. Often, just articulating the reality out loud helps people see new angles or connections they hadn’t considered.
O is for Options: What Could You Do?
With a clear goal and a good understanding of reality, it’s time to brainstorm. This is the creative phase where you encourage the coachee to generate as many potential solutions or courses of action as possible, without judging them yet. The key here is quantity over quality initially. No idea is too silly or too impossible. Your role is to ask open-ended questions that spark thought, not to provide your own “best” ideas.
- Instead of: “You should really apply for that new role.”
- Try questions like: “What are all the different ways you could approach this?” or “If anything were possible, what would you do?” or “Who could you talk to for support or advice?” or “What are the pros and cons of each option?”
This phase empowers the coachee by showing them they have agency and multiple paths forward.
W is for Will (or Way Forward): What Will You Do?
This is the action step. Now that the coachee has explored their goals, reality, and options, it’s time to commit to specific actions. This isn’t just about picking an option; it’s about making a concrete plan. What specific steps will they take? By when? What support do they need? How will they measure success?
- Instead of: “Okay, good luck with that!”
- Try questions like: “So, what’s your first step?” or “By when will you take that action?” or “What potential challenges might come up, and how will you address them?” or “On a scale of 1-10, how committed are you to this plan, and what would make it a 10?”
This final step ensures accountability and transforms the conversation from theoretical discussion into tangible progress.
The Allyship Superpower of GROW
Using the GROW Model isn’t just about good coaching; it’s fundamentally about allyship:
- Empowerment: You’re not fixing people; you’re helping them fix themselves. This builds self-efficacy and resilience, which is crucial for individuals from marginalized groups who might face systemic barriers.
- Voice Amplification: You create space for their ideas and their solutions, rather than imposing your own. This is especially vital for ensuring diverse perspectives are heard and valued.
- Reducing Bias: By asking questions rather than making assumptions or giving direct advice, you minimize the risk of projecting your own biases onto the situation or the person.
- Long-Term Growth: You’re teaching a person how to think through problems, not just what to think. This is a skill that will serve them throughout their careers.
So, the next time someone comes to you with a challenge, take a breath. Resist the urge to dive into advice-giving. Instead, grab your GROW model hat and start asking powerful questions. You’ll not only help them solve their immediate problem, but you’ll also build their confidence, sharpen their decision-making skills, and truly lead like an ally.